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Sunday, February 15, 2009

Realizations


I just had a realization and it is funny how that happens to you after you make a decision and know it is wrong. I am always complaining about not having friends, but I have officially found out that I'm the reason I don't have friends. I remain to myself and I'm content with that because I'm too afraid to let myself be transparent. I remain at home because I'm too afraid that people won't accept me. I see that people try to make an effort for me and I return with avoidance. I really don't know where this stems from. If I have some weird thing that happen to me when I was younger, I'm not really sure. But what I do know is that I'm tired of it. I'm tired of being the reason that I sit on the sidelines all the time.


I make a vow to myself and people that enter my life on a daily basis. My vow is to make an effort. I make a vow to do the things that I say I'm going to do and not back out because I'm scared. The worst thing that could happen to me would be that I don't get along with someone and I know that I can get through that. I definitely need to be that person off the sidelines. I vow to let my yes be yes and my no be no.


4 comments:

Mike and Suzi :) said...

I struggle with the same thing!

Meg said...

I've been known to avoid hanging out with others, but then I "realize" I've missed out on really good friendships!
Thanks for sharing!
KEEP BLOGGING!

Mountain Fam said...

I love you girl! It's so encouraging to hear your heart!

The Blowey Bunch said...

i am glad you posted this... it will help keep you accountable!
There are so many people who are missing ou by not getting to know you, i am excited to see that change!
*Keri*